What a privilege!

Let’s face it. We think we are pretty smart. Our way is the right way.

We talk about feeling humbled. I feel humbled here. I am so glad that, in general, we are not treated like anything special. It’s because these people have their priorities right that they don’t treat us, or any others like they are something special. They don’t despise us either. Considering a bulk of the sponsorship of CHI comes from America, you might expect to be bowed to, figuratively.  Thank you, God, that we are not.

This morning I was sitting on a swing outside the CarePoint in Okajandja. It is beautiful weather right now. Very much like Southern California. It is in the 80s during the day and not humid. There is a beautiful breeze that feels like summer at home. The nights are cool and we were able to leave our windows open because there are no mosquitos where we are. Last night the adorable kitty that belongs to the center would jump in and out of the window right onto me and scare me to death. There a lots and lots of cockroaches where we are visiting so I think I was much more jumpy than normal. He bit playfully at my toes a couple times. Oh, then there are the sounds of the neighborhood. It sounded like a carnival was going on around us last night. Bars, people who cook and live outside in the evenings. Dogs barking!

I would call the neighborhood middle class compared to others I’ve seen, about the same as the neighborhood of the Ark at Keetmanshoop and the CarePoint at Rehoboth. In comparison, they would be much like inner city Santa Ana where you can see evidence of families and children but you are still on your guard. Businesses and many homes have high fences or walls with barbed wire on the top or electric fencing. On the other hand, the beautiful home we stayed in for 2 nights had an unlocked gate and low fencing in the front yard. High fencing in the back that seemed like it was more for the animals because it backed up to wide open spaces with high brush.

This facility where we are at for a few days (Okajandja CarePoint) needs a lot of TLC. It was a children’s home until CHI found that children’s homes are not the best for kids. Foster care and kinship care is much better and has shifted the focus. Now, CHI is serving and “Sharing the Life Changing Message of Jesus Christ” with many more kids, for much less money.  The kids get clean school uniforms, a hot meal, tutoring, and the love and teaching of the Lord Jesus, as well as the Choose to Wait curriculum. It is transformative. The kids are chosen by being orphans and the most vulnerable in the community. The stories nauseate. Neglect, abuse, and overwhelm pour out of unbelievable circumstances.

Recently a woman showed up at the CarePoint in Okajandja with an infant and tried to just give it to the ministry coordinator/national director. There are active social services which were called. I’ve learned through 2 conversations that giving up a baby is considered taking the irresponsible way out. I don’t think Namibia allows foreign adoptions. It is all so complex, I don’t pretend to understand or have any answers.

We took a couple of the ladies home the other night who work at the CarePoint. We saw what Andy called abject poverty. Outside fires for cooking, piles and piles of trash driven through on un-maintained dirt roads, shacks. So tough to fathom. Yet, this is home for all these many precious individuals. These women are working, nurturing the children at the CarePoint all day, and come home to a very tough job taking care of their own families. It is tempting to say this isn't a life. That is categorically wrong. They are living their lives and often have joy I don't see in people with everything. 

Ooops. I digress again. Back to humility. I was sitting on the swing, enjoying the cool of the morning. I closed my eyes to pray. But I felt so small and ridiculous. It is because we are with such faithful, sacrificial people. My mind tells me that I am less than them. The needs also seem insurmountable. Here, insurmountable is a dumb word to me. To solve and overcome problems or to make things comfortable and as perfect as possible is what we strive for in my world. Here, it is that God provides day by day and problems are managed as they relate to his eternal kingdom. Resolution is often not the idea. It is very strange, but somehow freeing and wonderful. Live with what you have and, yes, you often do without what you want. That is life. 

Then, as I began to pray, I remembered. Our work, our sacrifices, all of what we try to do and be for God means nothing in terms of our value and worthiness in God’s eyes.

As I often do, I imagined myself walking up to beautiful Jesus who hugs me close. He smiles and presents me clean and worthy to his father. He says that I am his and the Father accepts me at the throne. I have never shared this with anyone before but this is what I often do when I pray. I am made right because I belong to Jesus, not because of anything I do or don’t do. 

I don’t just imagine this. I know this by God’s Word. See why so many Christians call it our love letter?

I prayed boldly but with a new sense of humility that God would restore this facility. All of the facilities need so much work to be fully functioning. It is clear the that Ark at Keetmanshoop has benefited greatly by Uncle Christian’s constant care and the periodic teams from MOO and other churches, including Rita and Christian’s family from Belgium, in keeping up the Ark. It needs lots of help but it is in much better condition than this CarePoint.

If I won the lottery today, which I won’t because I don’t play….

I would immediately:

n  Build the wall around the Rock at Okajandja. What amazing and exciting potential that place-on-the-hill has. It can’t continue being a place for drunks at night and break-ins. CHI has it’s own brick maker but hasn’t had the funds to make the bricks. The foundation is already there. It is a huge area that will be such a blessing to so many, once it is secured.

n  Repair and paint the 4 facilities we have seen of the 6 in Namibia. The Ark at Keetmans, Okajandja’s CarePoint, Okajandja’s Rock, the CarePoint at Rehoboth. I’m sure there are things needed in Oshikuku, which we will see the end of April/beginning of May. Big Zambian Uncle Danny and Aunt Frieda (who we haven't met yet) in Oshikuku need a new vehicle for the ministry right away. We have no idea about the condition of the training center in Okajandja. We haven’t seen it except from the outside.

n  Get air conditioning for Rehoboth and get the water lines fixed so they can restart their garden.

n  Buy vehicles for CHI full time staff. Very safe and economical vehicles! They drive very dangerous roads very long distances!

During prayer and fasting, it think it was finally hammered home in me that God doesn’t need me to step in to solve His problems. I want to and sometimes we have the resources to help. He can take care of his ministry.  See what I mean by humility? Somewhere in my background I got the idea that I can fix problems. This can be great but it can also bleed into thinking that we are needed, even pivotal. It is part of the God Complex that I want to be free from. I am excited to just be here and be part of it and continually remind myself to stay right here where He has me with no plans, no words of wisdom to share, nothing to really offer except a little bit of help and support for those who do this with their LIVES. 

What a privilege!