Last day at work: it is really happening!

Do you ever look back and realize how much of your life you didn't plan, orchestrate, manipulate, or even think about yet, here you are?
 
That is exactly how I feel and it fills me with a deep sense of gratitude. I always questioned people when they would say 'things will work out.' How do they know?
 
And yet, I find myself at a point where I can't believe how things have worked out. The hunk of a man with the big smile I met 27 years ago turned out to be a man I love and respect more all the time. I didn't expect that! We raised 3 sons who astound us. They each have their share of life's challenges,but they are focused on what is bigger than themselves. They each want their lives to matter and to honor God. We have a precious daughter who 'married in' yet feels as fully ours as if she were born to us. These days I find she makes me want to be a better wife ... something I really didn't expect.
 
To have my mom, Andy's mom, and all our brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, and great nieces and great nephews to love and enjoy -- I cherish each moment with them. Friends like family and coworkers, students, and church friends that enrich everything -- we are just so blessed.
 
When the boys were small, I was totally in love; yet, I felt like life was one big blank white wall. I had purposefully signed up for marriage and parenthood. Stability was the what I wanted for the boys. "We are the stable ship. We need to keep it steady. It is their job to launch someday and that happens best from a stable ship." I would actually say that out loud when everything inside of me wanted to feel the excitement of change and novelty. It was very tough for me to keep moving forward. Life with kids just took up so much (all) of me -- my time, energy, patience, money, effort, brain power, career,focus. Everything. Every decision I made was about them. By the time I really surrendered to parenting, it was time they began needing me less and less (except the money part, of course). I have teased that it all feels like a practical joke sometimes.
 
Surprising and suddenly, it is as if I have come out of a thick forest. I am out in the clearing. I made it through something that took more than I thought I had in me to do well. I didn't know if, after raising the kids, we'd have exciting adventures in store. Down deep I didn't think so. Instead of coming out of the forest to a dreary place, it is  as if the past has led to a brand new path and I have no real idea of where it will lead. I do know that I can fully trust the One I serve and that is really the exciting goal. So here we go.